#blogElul 2017 – Day 17: Awaken

Last night I was too tired to contemplate  blogelul+2017
consciousness

no energy even for a short spate of
curiosity

a brief burst of energy required for
cogitation

though I have dreamt of waking with
clarity

able to articulate avenues of action to
consider.

 

Reckoning with rage means1468_1_1 tearing down the castle

destroying its protective moat and portending
collapse

PTSD hovering overhead and flashbacks
coalescing

 

amygdala moving into overdrive to avert
calamity

while deafening demons demonstrate
control.

GettyImages11-58b5b9413df78cdcd8b4cb79Rage has been my protection from the
chasm

a mountaineering partner to avoid the
crevasse

the most loyal bulwark against certain
catastrophe.

 

My gratitude for rage’s escutcheon is
complete

I am ready to awaken to new hopes for
capacity.

 


Once again, I’m participating in #blogElul, which I have followed for a few years. In past years, I’ve found it helpful as I ponder and reflect in the month before the High Holidays – Yamim Noraim. Check out some of the amazing themed posts geared around the work and joy of Elul – of introspection and reflection in the days leading to the High Holy Days (Organized by Ima Bima.) You can read prior years’ #blogElul posts via the Elul tag.

About armsakimbobook

I'm a mother, a lawyer, a feminist, a writer, a potter, and an inveterate and unapologetic New Yorker. My book, Arms Akimbo: A Journey of Healing, tells of my journey of healing over a number of years, learning to live a full life after I was molested by my father at a very young age. I live in Medford, MA, part time with my 11 year-old daughter and full time with our dog, Toast, and our cats, Samson and Hercules.
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