Category Archives: Grieving

#blogElul 2017 – Elul 9: See

There is seeing and there is seeing. Glancing versus observing. Scanning versus scrutinizing. In moments of anger/angst I have avoided, evaded eluded, deluded but rarely, if ever, denuded. Viewing rage’s effects only on self is an empty exercise creating a … Continue reading

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#BlogElul 3: Search

For much of my life, I have searched. For reasons. For answers. For relief. For a way out of this amorphous pain I felt. An unknown, and un-understood something. I had no idea what. Or whether. Or why. I knew … Continue reading

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On Being Molested – Part 5

First, a totally irrelevant point – is it really July? Impossible – it was just March. Time really does fly…even if you’re not having fun. I continue to ponder my parts these days, as we enter into the month that … Continue reading

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On Being Molested – Part 4

How did being molested at an early age change me, I wonder? Because I don’t know who I was, or who I was meant to be, or who I might have been. All that can never be discovered or retrieved, … Continue reading

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On Being Molested, Part 3

On hard days, I still talk to my different parts. Most of the conversations happen late at night, when I can’t sleep. When ghosts try to enter the inner sanctum. When I am most vulnerable – at my most tired. … Continue reading

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On Being Molested, Part 2

The aftershocks of being molested as a young child can feel unending.They can come fast and furious, or wait for months before the ground again gives way in an earthquake of epic proportions. They hit hard, and I fall hard. … Continue reading

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Burying the Ghosts of Trauma

As I have worked my way through the worst of my trauma – the debilitating, breath-stopping, function-sucking part – I have tried to buried my father’s ghost hundreds of times, with varying degrees of success. In retrospect, it amazes me … Continue reading

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On Being Molested

How’s that for a title? Over the past decade, so much of my life has been about healing. About learning how to trust after a lifetime (really, truly – a lifetime) spent in the trust abyss. I have done it … Continue reading

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In Memoriam (#Charlestonshooting)

Darkness and Light Obsidian night stretching into day light drowned in tears. Fleeting flashes bright sparks of hatred snuffing out souls. Real people not abstractions. Speak their names. Cynthia Hurd 54 years old. Beloved librarian. Innocents communing in the bosom … Continue reading

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Healing Today’s Brokenness

Today was my mom’s birthday she is no longer of this earth except in memories which abound from me from my family and friends. Today I am broken my heart has a crack a mile wide it beats: to the … Continue reading

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